Where has the time gone!?
Teddy has just turned 6 months old!
Please bear with me as I am writing this through a bottle of bubbles and feeling a bit sentimental/tipsy! (oops)
He has filled a hole in our lives we didn't even know was there. Before we started trying for a family I feel as though we were still living like students. Out most weekends, long lie ins, eating out, going to the cinema, care free about cash and taking going for a wee and a long warm shower for granted. It hasn't been an easy 6 months but it has been the best 6 months of our lives.
Do I think that the person I was a few years ago could keep a tiny human safe, warm and fed? I couldn't have even imagined stepping out of the house anything less than immaculate, never mind being three days past a proper shower with a clipped up greasy side fringe! Nobody could prepare you for motherhood. You could read a thousand books and still be non the wiser. You might even be reading this blog post as part of your preparation for the birth of your child but nothing will ever equip you with what you need to survive in this world.
You learn as you go!
When your baby is born, you will be reborn, as a mother!
There is nothing better than some hands on training! This last 6 months has taught me a lot about babies and a lot about myself as a person. It has stretched my patience and tolerance to the max! I don't mean this in a bad way, what I mean is you don't know how patient you are until you have a crying baby who won't stop for nothing or how much tolerance you have for things until you haven't slept for days. I remember boarding a plane to Amsterdam and I was sat next to a crying baby and all I could think was OH MY GOD SHUT UP! I was one of those people! My tolerance for crying children was zero! But when it's your own it's completely different and you suddenly grow sympathetic to other parents dealing with unhappy babies.
I never knew I could love another person so much...
As soon as they are placed in your arms your world is still. You see nothing else, you feel nothing else and you feel as though nobody else on earth could possibly know or understand the love you hold for this little person. This love grows each and every day!
You make mistakes. Nobody hands you a manual, you live and learn your way through parenting. One day when you're out you will go to the baby change and find you have run out of wipes or nappies or you've forgotten a change of clothes. It happens but then next time you'll remember and you've learnt a lesson.
You learn so much about yourself when you become a parent. I have always had so much love to give but a lot of that love has been so badly directed in a lot of areas in my life until I met my husband and then we made our little Teddy bear! The love is unconditional, it's wanted, it's needed and it's reciprocated. All of my energy, and I mean ALL of it, is geared towards making sure he is happy. When he is happy I am at my happiest, when he is at his best, so am I. There won't be a job in the world more rewarding than being a parent and no matter if he is 3 or 30 I will always be just that. His parent! His elder, his rock, his friend and most of all his mother. I will always be more humble in disagreements, I will always be stronger, I will never judge him or push him away. I will guide him, I will let him grow, I will forever be his go to person, I will trust him, I will always forgive him, I will never hold a grudge. I will be his friend when he needs one. I will be honest. No matter how big he gets I will always be his shoulder and will forever be there to catch him when he falls.
Motherhood hits you like a ton of bricks. You go from becoming self involved and worried about shit that doesn't even matter to giving your whole world to this little bundle.
You might be reading this thinking that I am going to drop some knowledge or some facts about babies at 6 months but instead I'm sat here with a rare night off, chipped polish on my toes, chewed fingernails, bags under my eyes and I've never been happier. My heart has never been fuller.
You might be sat worried about your stretch marks or the pile of baby clothes sat there waiting to go in the wash but for every stretch mark you have and for every load of washing undone there is a woman out there that wishes she has what you have!
Everything I've tried to be, wanted for myself, aimed for and worked towards has been summed up in the last 6 months. Everything was for him. Even though I never knew it! The person I had become right before I gave birth to him was for him. Preparing me and shaping me into the mother that I would eventually become and what makes it all the more sweeter is that I had all of these experiences and created this perfect little boy with the man I am so proud to call my Husband!
I love you guys! Thank you so much for taking time out of your Sunday to have a read!
Cheers to the next 6 months!
Peace and love,