I love this little boy more than anything in the whole world and nothing could ever change that but there are more and more things that I find myself doing that I NEVER thought I would!
Have you ever played this game?
It usually involves necking shots and drunkenly admitting to embarrassing statements and disgracing ones self! Not that I have any experience in that ; )
I want to play this with you now, maybe just grab a coffee and a comfortable chair though!
For every time you HAVE done one of these things take a sip!
NEVER HAVE I EVER co-slept!
I know, I know, I can hear the critics calling me out now! But Professor No Kids with a degree can go mmm himself!
First of all, every baby is different. Some babies will go to sleep after being put down awake. Some parents can zip their babies into their sleeping bag give them a kiss and walk away. Other babies might need some gentle rocking and white noise and others may need to be in constant contact with you.
I'm not saying that we sleep with Teddy in the bed every night. Most of the time he is in his own bed but when you're faced with uncontrollable crying and a stressed out baby you'll try anything. Co-sleeping can be done safely. Do your research, make a decision that is right for you and your baby and get some sleep.
NEVER HAVE I EVER swore under my breath.
Sleep deprivation, hormones, starvation and the shrieks of an unsettled baby can make you say things you never thought you would! Do you ever find yourself in the middle of the night peeling yourself off your mattress for the tenth time after an hours sleep accompanied with the utters of a 'FFS!' or a 'WTF?'.
It's awful isn't it but hey we are all human!
NEVER HAVE I EVER left him to take a minute.
Sometimes you just need to regroup! You try to shush and rock, cuddle and bounce, you try a bottle, a dummy and nothing works. The screams just get louder and louder and you literally can't hear yourself anymore.
I have sat in tears crossed legged on the floor rocking Teddy not having a clue what to do.
With a process of elimination you run out of options. I have found myself in this position a few times. It's so stressful and makes you want to scream/cry/rock in a corner with your fingers in your ears!
The times I have found myself in this situation I lay him down, walk out of the room, take some deep breaths and count to 10. Most of the time this gives me a minute to regroup and start over! Don't let yourself go to the bad place, remember it doesn't last forever. KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON!
NEVER HAVE I EVER sniffed someone else's butt.
This one is easy! Every parent does this right? Beefy crisps is a wee and no other smell like it on earth is a poo! Sniff to evaluate your situation then progress to next level where appropriate.
NEVER HAVE I EVER not thought about him on a night out.
I thought I would constantly think about Teddy when I was away from him! Especially after declaring that I would never ever leave him, full stop, 4EVA, IDST! I wanted to put him back inside lol!
One day we were out with friends, stood in a bar a bit tipsy, drinking cocktails and chatting. One of our guy friends came over and asked us if we thought about our babies when we were out. He had already asked the boys and wanted to compare. Lee had said no! I was mortified! I proclaimed that of course I thought about him until I had realised that I hadn't until I had been asked this question! I have eventually realised that it's okay to switch of from being Mum for a few hours and let loose with friends. It's time for yourself and that's okay!
A parent who has had a break is a better parent.
NEVER HAVE I EVER ignored a health visitor.
Becoming a parent is a huge life changing experience and not one for the faint hearted! So of course there are some uncertainties, nerves and doubts. You may have the help of your Mum or Granny, offering you advice and sharing opinion. Once you become pregnant you will also have midwives and health visitors pitching in.
You will soon become BOMBARDED with information and it's your responsibility to filter that information into manageable chunks and pick out the things that relate to you! There is so much conflicting and inconsistant information out there it's almost impossible to digest.
After being faced with a pushy midwife who man handled me in my living room and a breast feeding support lady who came to my house with a knitted boob and a doll (to give me a 1-2-1 demo) on top of zero sleep and a baby that was dramatically losing weight, I was ready to fight the next person who tried it on! I was sick of it! I just wanted to follow my gut and trust my own instincts.
You will face this throughout the first few months of your baby's life. Once the midwife signs you off, your health visitor will arrive. Most of them are well informed and experienced with kids of their own. Unfortunately you will get the odd one whose opinions have been formed from what they read out of a book and not from experience which doesn't help because not one size fits all.
Weaning was a big one for me. They tell you to wait until they are 6 months for baby-led weaning which I was fully planning on doing until Teddy was drinking 8 x 8 ounce bottles a day. I could hear the milk gurgling around in his belly and made the decision to start him on solids at 4 months old. From then on I experimented with different tastes through a fresh food feeder and gave him blended fruit and veg. The health visitor came round for her last visit so I did the responsible thing and hid all of my bowls and spoons and when I was told to wait wait wait I nodded in agreement and smiled!
Teddy is now 6 months old and is loving baby-led weaning. We have so much fun. Starting him early was the right decision for us and it eased us into finger foods. As his development progressed so did the weaning.
Be safe, be informed but trust yourself in making the right decision for you and your baby.
NEVER HAVE I EVER sang out loud in public...
(and not gave a F).
In the car, in the house, the supermarket, on a dog walk, when they're happy and when they're sad. Babies love to hear you sing (even if you have a crap voice like me), it's literally music to their ears. "Wiiiiind the bobbin up, wiiiiind the bobbin up, pull, pull, clap, clap, clap"...
Whenever, wherever, who cares as long as you're both having a ball!
Please feel free to share some of your "Never Have I Ever's" in the comments below, I would love to hear from you.
Peace and love,
Special thanks to Ian Burns Photography for my feature pic!